How to hide a pregnancy
by Ferowyn
Summary: Hobbit Kink Meme Prompt: Fili is pregnant, though he doesn't know it at start. He puts off telling Thorin because he knows how angry he'll be, and tries to hide it. WARNING: Incest & mpreg!


_Prompt: I don't really mind which brother it is, but I would really like to see one of the two pregnant from a fling back home, though they didn't know it at start. They only tell the other as the journey continues - maybe they try to tell Thorin in Rivendell, but he's too het up with his elf hatred to understand what they're on about? _

_In any case, they put off telling Thorin because they know how angry he'll be, and the pregnant brother deals with the effects of his pregnancy as they go along. Maybe some of the other dwarves and help him, quietly supporting him when he's tired, sneaking him extra food, lending him a wider coat... _

_Maybe the brothers end up in the same cell as Thorin in Mirkwood, when it becomes patently obvious. Maybe Thorin comes across Filli or Kili bathing, despite the company's best efforts to stop him going to the stream._

. ?thread=1100486#t1144518

**Note:** _I actually do feel bad about of that one, but I couldn't get it out of my head. THIS IS INCEST __**AND **__MPREG! __**SERIOUSLY – DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ IT!**_

**How to hide a pregnancy**

Fili jumps to his feet and leaves the clearing they are currently camping on, running into the bushes.

Taken a little off-guard Kili just stares at the spot where the blond dwarf has disappeared before he rises and, after giving his breakfast a sad look, follows his brother. It takes him a few minutes to find him and when he does he is honestly surprised. Fili is kneeling next to a large tree and throwing up. Immediately Kili rushes towards him and reaches for his hair and braids, keeping them out of his pale face. The older one chokes, his brother watching him worriedly.

"You are sick."

"Thank you, I wouldn't have noticed without you telling me."

Kili rolls his eyes. "You know what I mean", he says, his voice soft. "You are a dwarf. Dwarves don't get sick. Have you eaten something foul?"

Fili shakes his head.

"How did you feel when you got up?"

"I felt great, actually really hungry. I had almost finished my serving when-" Thinking of the sausages is enough to make him choke once more.

Kili frowns. It could not be… could it? "I will go get you some water", he announces, pushing the thought to the back of his mind. He can deal with that possibility later, right now he has to make sure Fili will be able to travel. "And maybe Bombur has a few mint leaves left. I'll be right back, okay?" Fili nods so he returns to the camp. The others have finished eating – the rest of his own serving has wondrously disappeared – and are currently packing. The young dwarf grabs his mug and is filling it with water from a big bucket, when Bofur approaches him.

"What's the matter with Fili?" he quietly asks.

"He's sick, probably ate something foul", Kili answers, knowing Bofur will not tell anybody, especially not Thorin. Fili neither wants to delay their departure, nor anybody make a fuss about this matter and if he is fit enough to keep up with them Kili will fulfil this wish. "Maybe you could ask your brother for some mint?"

Bofur nods and walks up to Bombur, handing Kili a small bag only a few moments later. "I told him I wanted them for myself."

The younger dwarf smiles thankfully and leaves the camp once more, returns to Fili. He hands him the mug and opens the bag and takes one leaf out while the blond dwarf uses half of the water to rinse his mouth and drinks the other half slowly, taking only tiny sips. He already looks much better. Kili hands him the mint leaf and takes the mug.

Fili starts to chew, obviously relieved when nausea does not return, and rises. "Who knows?"

"Only Bofur, but the others were already packing, thus we might be in a bit of a hurry."

The older one groans. "I'm not sure I want to find out what our uncle thinks we were doing."

Kili leers. "Oh, because usually we _are_ doing exactly that?"

Fili rolls his eyes. "Well, he may be guessing it, but he doesn't _know_, and I'd like to keep it that way."

The younger brother flashes him a fond smile and steps out of the bushes, onto to clearing. The rest of the company is finishing packing and Thorin is nowhere to be seen. Fili sighs with relief and heads towards his own bedroll, only to find it already packed. He looks around the camp and finds Bofur winking at him. He smiles gratefully and turns to help his brother. When Thorin returns to the group all of them are ready to leave.

oOo oOo oOo

Kili watches his brother warily. Fili is sitting by the campfire, joking with Bofur – Bifur occasionally adding more or less rude gestures – and his brother does not really want to know _what_ exactly he is eating. He sighs. It has been almost a week since Fili's first 'stomach problems' and they have reoccurred every morning since. He cannot ignore the possibility any longer, and he definitely needs to talk to the blond dwarf. Putting the awkward conversation off for a little while longer he stays where he is for a few more minutes, entirely content with watching his brother's soft features and the shadows the flickering flames draw on his face. Suddenly there are tears in Fili's eyes and Bofur is darting Kili a helpless glance.

The black-haired dwarf sighs again and rises, goes up to his brother and takes his hand. "Come on", he says, pulling him up, "we have to talk." He gestures Bofur and Bifur to follow him and leads them away from the fire, but does not leave the camp, knowing they are in a dangerous area.

Fili pouts. "Why are they coming with us? Didn't you see that Bofur was mean to me?"

Kili tries to suppress a chuckle. "Apologize to him, Bofur, please?"

Bofur gives him a doubtful look but does as requested. "I'm sorry, lad. Wasn't tryin' to annoy ya."

The blond dwarf accepts the apology and when Kili sits down he is already smiling at Bofur once again. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

Kili looks at the other two. "You know how to keep a secret, don't you?" The menacing undercurrent is unmistakable.

The cousins both raise an eyebrow but nod.

"Good." The youngest takes a deep breath. "Fili – I already have a suspicion, so just tell us!"

The blond dwarf gulps audibly, does not look at his brother. "I know it is very rare among male dwarves and usually only happens after _many_ years of committed relationship, but… I'm pregnant?"

Silence.

Since dwarves only love once in their life nobody would criticize a romantic relationship between siblings or same-sex-partners and although children are indeed scarce among suchlike liaisons they are not frowned upon. It is a decision nature makes, not the couple.

Thus the general shock arises from a completely different problem.

Kili is the first to speak. "I already thought so. Since when do you know?"

Fili blushes. "Maybe a week or two?"

His brother looks like he is going to kill him. "Why didn't you tell me? And why _in Durin's name_ did you come with us? It's far too dangerous!"

"This is exactly the reason. We cannot tell uncle."

Kili looks at him as if he has gone crazy. "We have to! What if you get hurt?"

"No! He would send me back to the Shire and have me wait there! And he can't know about us!"

His brother closes his eyes. "Fili", he says softly "I know you are afraid he might set you up when he finds out that you have already found your love and it is not a respectable dwarf lass, suitable for a future king – but I don't think he will do that. He may still be searching for his one and he may not know the feeling, however, he doesn't want to hurt any of us. He will not do this to you, or me. Yes, he will be angry, _very_ angry, but only because it was incredibly stupid of you to go on a mission like this carrying a child! We have to tell him – rather sooner than later."

"_Please?_" Fili is on the verge of tears.

It takes all of Kili's self-control not to just wrap his arms around him and promise him everything he wants. "I will not tell him today, or tomorrow, but I will talk to him."

Bofur nods. "And if Kili doesn't do it I will!"

"If you don't tell him he won't find out!"

Bifur snorts and Kili looks at his brother disbelievingly. "Seriously? You are sick every morning but feel a lot better during the rest of the day, your mood swings are unmistakable, I don't even want to _think_ about your newest favourite dish and soon you're going to be huge!"

Fili sighs and hangs his head in defeat.

"Try and be careful, will you? Please!"

The blond dwarf nods and snuggles into his brother's chest for a moment, then withdraws. After all, their uncle could see them.

oOo oOo oOo

Kili shoots, one arrow after another, desperate to kill as many wargs as possible. All he can think of is that there are too many attackers and what that means. He does not even realize all of the others fleeing into the cave until Thorin calls out to him. His eyes find Fili and only when he is absolutely sure his brother is uninjured he relaxes a little. He knows he has to talk to him, they cannot continue like this.

Bofur, who is walking next to him, smiles. "I'm watchin' out for him. And Bifur's, too", he mutters.

Kili forces a thankful smile. "I hope that's enough."

"Me too", Bofur nods worriedly and closes up to his cousin while Kili never takes his eyes off of his brother. When they step out of the cave and see Rivendell beneath them he cannot help but be relieved. It may be an elvish shelter, but for this night they are safe.

Later, when Thorin, Gandalf and the hobbit have disappeared somewhere in this maze, talking to the elf-Lord, and the dwarfs have finally satisfied their hunger with sausages (this green food had left them hungrier than they had been before) he grabs the chance and motions his brother to follow him, away from the company. And while the others have a good laugh when Bombur's weight finally wins against the fragile table he makes sure Fili really is fine.

The older one endures his mothering more or less patiently, not sure whether he finds this incredibly annoying or incredibly cute. Finally Kili sits down, leaning his back against the wall. "Come here", he smiles. "The others can't see us from where they are sitting and uncle is busy getting on the elf's nerves." Fili collapses next to him, his hands cupping his cheeks and his lips on his face within seconds. They kiss for minutes, enjoying this rare opportunity of togetherness. "Fili", Kili murmurs against his brother's lips. "I can't do this any longer."

Fili cringes, looking utterly shocked, and Kili hurriedly corrects himself. "Not _us_. I mean the we-are-not-telling-uncle-thing. We _have_ to tell him. You can't fight like you usually would."

"Of course I can!" The blond dwarf clearly is offended, but his expression softens when he sees the panic in his brother's eyes. "I will be fine", he murmurs.

"What if you get hurt? Or the baby? I know you can look after yourself and you know how to fight, but what if you are injured? The only thing I could think about today was that I had to protect you by all means, it clearly affected my judgment. I can't do this!" He sighs. "Uncle won't be happy" the older one huffs "but he doesn't want you to get hurt, either. Please. We must tell him!"

Fili sighs, knowing his brother is right. "Fine. We're going to let him know when he comes back, okay? But until then you'll have to distract me, otherwise I'll be worrying all the time."

The younger brother raises an eyebrow. "You should be avoiding stress anyways!"

"I'm a dwarf", Fili snorts. "Dwarf babies can take stressed mothers. Or do you think our mother got any rest when she was pregnant with you? I've been told I was a real pest back then."

"You still are", Kili answers, a smile playing on his lips, and then he sets out to distract his brother, a task he accomplishes more than successfully.

They stay in their hidden corner until they hear Thorin's heavy footsteps come closer.

Kili jumps to his feet, dragging a reluctant Fili with him. "Uncle! We need to talk to you!"

"Exactly what I was about to say", the king grumbles and leads them into another room.

Fili screws up his courage. "There's something we have to tell you."

Thorin is pacing. "The bloody elf knows", he growls and the two brothers exchange a horrified look before realizing their uncle is talking about something completely different. "Gandalf made me show him the map. The _map_! You should have seen Balin's face when I gave it to him. I know we need help, but why, in Durin's name, did we have to ask a blasted tree-shagger of all people?"

"Well – could he read the map?" Kili dares asking.

"Yes, but that's beside the point! He knows that we're planning to reclaim Erebor, and he will most likely try to stop us!" Thorin's mood is so much worse than usually – which is quite impressive – that Kili's confidence crumbles within seconds.

"Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Yes, Gandalf will discuss the matter with more elves as soon as they arrive. He suggested that we leave at dawn; he will come and find us after his meeting with these ever so important people. Could you inform the others?"

"Of course", Fili agrees. "I'm going to make sure that everyone will be ready to leave." He gulps. "There's still something we need to tell you… it's important."

Thorin grumbles. "Is anybody hurt?"

"No, but-"

"That's good, wouldn't want to stay here any longer than absolutely necessary."

The brothers exchange another glance and silently agree on leaving their uncle be.

When they re-join with the rest of the company a few minutes later Bofur is already awaiting them. "What d' he say?"

Kili sighs. "Nothing. He was too caught up in the fact that the elf knows about our plan. We couldn't worry him any more. And since he'll probably be really angry we didn't dare telling him considering his mood. We'll have to keep it a secret – are you going to help us?"

"Of course", the older dwarf mutters "but we may have to tell some of the others, too."

oOo oOo oOo

Tiredly Kili climbs the mountain. He is walking behind his brother in order to be able to catch him if he should fall. They have left at dawn and now dusk is approaching. The day has been exhausting, not only because of the forced march but also because his worries about Fili are currently increasing. It is starting to rain and the pathway next to the gaping abyss is narrow, wet and slippery. Kili takes off his coat and stops his brother, wraps it around Kili's shoulders. "We don't want you to get sick, don't we?" The blond dwarf, who has already opened his mouth in order to protest, says nothing. "I will go first and you'll follow me. Look at my feet and be careful!" he commands and continues to follow the rest of the group, not waiting for an answer.

The rain gets worse and Kili is torn between finding the best spots to put his feet at and looking back, making sure his brother is still there. One of the others is shouting something and he looks up, seeing the mountain move. Then a boulder is flying towards them and he pulls Fili back, presses him against the wall of rock. He realizes too late that another abyss is opening up underneath them and before he can do anything, before he can jump, Fili is being torn away from him and he cannot take his hand. He tries to cling to the wet, slippery rock when the ground is starting to shake beneath him, due to the giant's movements. He has no idea how he manages to jump to the small plateau of steady rock, his breath catching when he sees the giant's other knee swing towards the mountain.

His uncle is screaming Fili's name, but he cannot move, only watch horror-stricken as the rest of their company vanishes out of sight once more. They are running and Kili is on the verge of tears when he finds his brother, lying on the floor but seemingly uninjured.

This night, when they are resting in the cave, he does not take his coat back although he is soaked and shivering. Bofur, who is keeping guard, smiles at him reassuringly, promising to make sure Fili is alright, but still it takes Kili a very long time to fall asleep.

When he wakes up the situation has gotten much worse, for they are falling, being captured by orcs. He watches his brother flinch every time one of the disgusting creatures gets close to his belly and there's nothing he can do. He also cannot stop his brother when they are running, coming to the aid of the Halfling, Dwalin at their side. In the following night, when the company is camping at the foot of the mountain the eagles dropped them on, he does not let go of Fili for a second, careless that their uncle could see it.

oOo oOo oOo

It is getting harder to keep Fili's pregnancy a secret every day. By now Bombur knows (he has assumed it anyway, after all he is the one preparing the _delicious_ meals the blond dwarf has started to crave) and although he is helping them a lot, giving him extra food as often (and as healthy) as possible, others have started to notice, too.

"We have to tell Bilbo, or he might tell uncle. I'm pretty sure Gandalf also knows, but he does what he wants anyway. And I'm going to let Dwalin in on our precious little secret." Kili may be sarcastic, but he is braiding Fili's beard very gingerly.

The older brother groans. "I understand Bilbo, but why Dwalin?"

"I want him to help me protect you if we should get into another battle."

"I don't need that!"

"Yes, ya do, lad", Bofur chips in.

Fili grumbles. "Stop mothering me!"

"I won't watch you put yourself and that baby in danger!" Kili growls. "Looking after you is exhausting enough without any orc attacks."

Immediately the blond dwarf is tearing up. "You think of me as a burden?"

Kili can barely stop himself from rolling his eyes. "Of course not", he murmurs, his voice soft. "I just want to protect you from harm and we both know that the two of us get into trouble ridiculously easily. Okay?" Fili nods, still eyeing his brother warily on the verge of tears. "There you go. Yes, I'll ask Dwalin to help me. Besides, your belly is growing every day. Everybody will know soon enough."

"You think I'm _fat_?"

oOo oOo oOo

A few days later everybody except Thorin knows, and every dwarf has agreed to help hiding Fili's condition from the king. Considering his mood it is the best thing they can do. Every single member of the company is helping in their own way. Actually it is quite amusing – and heart-warming – to watch.

Bombur is still making sure Fili has enough to eat, and his meals are healthier than usually. He also is worth a mint when it comes to talking the blond dwarf into eating _green food_.

Ori is always quick to find an excuse – he stumbles or drops something on purpose and everybody has to stop – when Fili has an urgent need once again.

Bifur, whose height is similar to Fili's, but his stature a little broader, lends him some of his clothes when the young dwarf's own no longer fit him.

Dwalin makes sure he is fighting at Fili's side whenever they are attacked, protecting the future king who still refuses to stay behind, not wanting to arouse his uncle's suspicion.

Bofur is always walking next to him when they are on the road, supporting Fili when he gets tired, which is happening more and more frequently.

Oin is carrying half of Fili's package and is making sure the younger one does not lift anything heavy.

Nori, who is surprisingly gifted when it comes to massaging, kneads the pain out of Fili's feet in the evenings when Thorin is not looking.

Gloin, who has a wife that has been pregnant, knows how to deal with Fili's mood swings, how to calm him down as quickly as possible.

Dori is ensuring that Fili always drinks enough and quite often offers his own water when the blond dwarf has none left.

Balin has many years of experience with distracting Thorin and he uses this knowledge whenever necessary.

Bilbo has brought a salve, a secret recipe of his grandmother's, that is soothing Fili's backache.

And Kili? Kili is everywhere, doing what he can in order to ensure his brother's safety and wellbeing.

Furthermore, all of them spend their time thinking of excuses to tell Thorin and soon Fili could have filled a whole library with them, at least one for every thinkable (and unthinkable) situation he might find himself in.

Gandalf only watches greatly amused and though he does not help them, he also does not tell Thorin.

oOo oOo oOo

They are setting up their camp in a clearing that is bounded by a number of boulders on the north, a lake on the west and trees on the east and south. It will be easy to defend should need be and all of the dwarves are very pleased about this opportunity to take a bath. Soon everyone but Fili has washed themselves and their clothes. Thorin, being the first one done, leaves the clearing in order to try and hunt something for dinner.

The rest of the company, who have all been dawdling on purpose, have only waited for that moment and the second their king has left the camp everybody is doing their job.

Bilbo follows Thorin quietly, he has to warn the others when the leader is on his way back. Dwalin, Dori, Nori, Oin and Gloin scatter around the clearing, every one of them facing the woods. Balin is ready to distract Thorin and lead him away from the pond. Bifur, Bofur and Bombur are standing with their back to the lake, shielding the spot where the water is the shallowest and Ori is grabbing a towel. In the meantime Kili helps his brother to undress and slip into the pond.

The water is cool and Fili shivers. His belly is huge by now and it is a wonder indeed that Thorin has not found out yet. The blond dwarf sighs and submerges, trying to get the dust and dirt that comes with sleeping in the wild out of his hair. He is just about to let Kili help him back to the shore when Bilbo comes running into the clearing, panting. "He's coming back!"

Fili slips, loses his balance and slides deeper into the water. While Kili jumps in, fully dressed, and pulls him back to the shallow area ("I can swim, you know!") Balin heads into the direction Bilbo has come from.

Thorin steps into the clearing.

"C'mon on, give me that!" Dwalin takes the boar the king is carrying. Bofur eyes it thoughtfully. "You think that will be enough for everyone?"

Thorin looks at him like he has lost his mind and does not bother answering.

Balin sighs. "Have you considered my suggestion?" he asks, trying to change the subject.

"Yes, but I have not made a decision yet."

The old dwarf is swearing under his breath. He has planned to engage the king in a conversation. Since they usually talk about politics in private it would have been a great idea to get him away from the clearing.

Nobody is moving until Fili is starting to shiver. Kili, standing next to him in the cool water, darts Bofur a helpless glance. Bofur shrugs his shoulders.

The younger one decides to get his brother out of the water; he would rather have Thorin find out than Fili catch a cold, but the blond dwarf refuses to move.

Thorin looks at the group standing in front of the lake suspiciously, seeing the movement behind them. He walks towards them, bypassing every single dwarf and the hobbit suddenly blocking his way. When he reaches the lake Fili tries to hide as much of his body as possibly underwater, but his uncle takes one look at his blurred figure and immediately knits his brows. "Out!" he commands.

Clenching his fists Fili obeys and takes the towel from Ori, not looking at his uncle. Kili sighs and helps him get dressed.

Thorin keeps silent until the blond dwarf is sitting next to the fire, his freshly washed clothes already drying. He fights to keep his temper, but loses. "What in Durin's name _were you thinking_? How can anybody be so _incredibly stupid_?" he roars, loudly enough for any creature in the area to know their whereabouts. "Why did you not stay at home?"

Fili gulps audibly. "I couldn't… I couldn't let K-…" He shoots a glance at his brother. "I couldn't let all of you put yourselves in danger and stay at home, worrying all the time!"

Thorin does not miss the short glance. He raises an eyebrow. "That explains who the other father is", he huffs and Kili winces. "You are aware of the fact that now everybody is worried because of you, aren't you?"

Fili bites his bottom lip. "Sorry?"

The king sighs. "You are not going to fight. You are not going to risk your life, or the baby's. During battles you will only defend yourself. Kili and Dwalin will _always_ be at your side. You will not go anywhere on your own. And you will alarm me immediately when you go into labour. _Understood_?" His voice is stern and his eyes are gleaming dangerously.

Fili sighs. "Yes."

"I would send you home if I could", Thorin growls. Then his features soften. "Take care of my heir, will you?"

oOo oOo oOo

Fili is screaming.

Kili has sent Bofur to find his uncle and Gandalf, who are somewhere in Laketown. He is watching his brother agonize, close to panicking. He knows there is nothing he can do to help his beloved, never before had he felt so utterly helpless.

Thorin runs into the big, luxurious room they have been given by the Master, followed by the wizard. Bofur stays outside, ready to keep any curious men or concerned dwarfs from entering.

"Take his hand", Gandalf advises Kili, rummaging through the pockets of his cloak. The youngest does as he is told and hisses when his brother squeezes his fingers a little too hard. He watches the grey-haired wizard bring a small bottle, filled with a dangerously dark liquid, to light. "Drink", the old man orders and Fili obeys. "It will ease your pain."

And sure enough his screams are not as loud, as painful, when the next contraction shakes his body.

Giving birth is agonizing for women – it is even worse for male dwarves. Their bodies are not meant to bear and besides the screaming and all the blood Kili cannot remember much after it is over.

He could not care less though, for he has a son now, who is tiny and beautiful, and he falls asleep in the huge bed, his arms wrapped around his exhausted brother who has curled himself up around the child. Their child.

What he does remember is the single tear running down his uncles cheek, and the smile lighting up his face that has been solemn for too long.


End file.
